Here in Your Hand

Art by Ditte Løfgren

Mai L. Nissen, 2012

Diagonally, you cut
my chest open;
Breaking ribs
to reach my heart.
You find your way
and grab on tight.
I am needed,
I am loved.

you clench your hand.
It is still right there,
in your hand.
You peel the skin
with a sharp knife
Little strips at a time.
Slowly, to let me feel
every single cut

As you peel
the skin off my neck,
you cut too deep.
Thickly it runs
down my chest,
warmly covers
my bruised feet.

The pool spreads;
as you slip,
it swallows you whole.
embraces your body
– the blood
from my vains.
We are in this
– it would seem

You are swallowed
by the red and black,
you grab on
to my aching feet;
You appear
from the pool
covered in my blood.
Red with anger,
black with hollow,
desperate feeling;
You climb till you reach
my tired arms.
yet my frail body
still stands

You find your way
back to my heart
and squeeze so tight.
Not a word,
it is still there
in your hand.
I smile in pain,
kiss your forehead
– and you let go.

Slowly I raise
my left arm,
reach for my chest.
I find my way through
the severed flesh;
Behind the ribs
I feel it beating.
Firmly, I grab it,
I pull it from my chest.
The blood is thick
and slippery.
Still beating,
here in my hand,
I place it in yours.

With my heart
in your hand,
you stand guard
at my body.
I gave you my heart
– Yet gushing
from my back,
in thick strips
into the pool,
blood from your vanity
and insecurity;
you cut your name
into my back,
branding me
as your possession.

You are always awake
– You cut my lids,
so I can never sleep;
Awake forever,
with no peace.
We are in this
– it would seem

You struggle
as the pool rises
and reaches your neck.
Your nails are clawed
into my heart,
you hold on.

You pull yourself up,
hang onto my neck.
My body exhausted,
shaking and frail.
I feel the weight
of your troubles

The heart beat slows
as the blood still flows
from my open wounds.
You struggle
to keep your head above.
In bitterness,
you tear my heart in two.
Spitefully, you look
into my eyes,
crab me by the throat.
Your eyes, not a flinch;
Your hatred
runs so deep.
I am dying
Yet you keep me
just an inch from death.
You refuse to let me leave.
You keep me
so we’ll remain in this
In panic, in fear;
Fear always drives you;
I am drowned
in your love.

Mai L. Nissen, 2012

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