I Do Not Wish to Hide

Art by Ditte Løfgren


Mai L. Nissen, January 2015

I must in someone confide
that although I do not wish to hide,
my armour is withered and frail
– without it I surely will fail!
My body is soft and easily pierced,
and triumph quickly will turn into tears;
Weakened, I cannot sustain myself
by the means that others are so easily helped.

Vanity sometimes pushes me to ignore
the limits of my capability; which I ought to ensure
that they be indisputably respected without a cringe!
Instead of allowing upon them to be infringed
by myself and others, who do not understand
that I am not well and have reasonable demands.

I have been living in a protective bubble
only with family and friends, to avoid unnecessary trouble.
Beyond my protected world, I have to explain
things not obvious to those without this type of pain.
Every function is unreliable and easily breaks
and mends so slowly – heightening the stakes!

I cannot be careless, I cannot ignore
– Despite the impulses so eager to explore –
the world outside, far beyond my little shell.
Patience needed to sustain the emotional swell!
Should the well of emotion shatter, I will feel its devastation
At which point, I see no hope or will for self-preservation.

January, 2015

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